I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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