Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
