i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Drake has all the answers
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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