OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
