quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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