why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I AM VODKA MAN
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
