im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I wear drunk well.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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