90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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