I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
