I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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