he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
