i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
