you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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