I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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