Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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