I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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