Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We left the knife in your bed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
