South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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