I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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