Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Success! We fucked roommates!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
