ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
