Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
