If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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