It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
