He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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