new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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