I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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