I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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