Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
