i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
