So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
