OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
