not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
