i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
