I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
