he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
