My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
