Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's the barista slut.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
