GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
