My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
