GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
