New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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