Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
