Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
