like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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