He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I could make wine with my vomit
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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