The maid of honor just puked.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
