K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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