For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
