that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
