if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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