Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
